How many of us have ever thought we were crap parents when our children fell ill, or had something wrong with them that we poo poo'd as an exaggeration only to find it was serious.

My oldest son had been playing with his dad when he was just 2 1/2 years old, it was getting late at the night and his dad, like all typical dads started to play with him just before bed. He was over tired and over stimuated, he fell on the floor and started to cry. I had seen this before, so said he had to go to bed, he normally went at 7pm and on that night was 10.30.

He was sleeping soundly by the time I went to bed, and never thought anything of it. The next morning he was sliding on my bedroom floor saying his leg hurt, he wouldn't and couldn't put any weight on his leg. I immediately took him to the hospital, where an x-ray showed he had actually fractured his leg. he was in plaster cast for 4 weeks, it was removed a week before Jonas was born!

I felt so bad, cried my heart out, how could I have put him through this, to sleep overnight with a broken leg, how did I not realise he had broken anything the time he was screaming and crying, how could I possibly have misinterpretted as him being over tired. I did think I didn't deserve to have my children, I felt horrible, and so much more.


Jonas had been jumping on the chair with his brother, I hollered at him so many times to stop jumping on it, he ignored me time after time, the very minute I say "I give up", he promptly falls over and bangs his head on the corner of the fishtank and split his head! They had to superglue it shut. Again I was pregnant with my 3rd child, maybe my hormones were overworked and hyper, but I really did feel bad about it, he could have broken his neck, he could have suffered brain damage, he could have lost so much blood, he could have fractured his skull and many more melodramatic thinking.


Have you had the same experiences? The same feelings of guilt, the same feelings of "god I'm a crap parent"?

Batty

Well if it makes you feel any better:

When I was 9, I broke my foot at school one day. I hadn't brought my snowpants, and all the kids were sliding so my friend and I decided to just squat and go down the hill like that, so we wouldn't get our pants wet. Well at the bottom, I hit a bump, rolled my ankle and felt this searing pain in my foot. I couldn't put any weight on it and had to be carried in by the playground supervisor. I refused to let my teacher call my parents, as I was supposed to attend my very first sleepover that night and was leaving school with my friend for her house. My dad was very strict and I knew if I had to leave school for the hospital, I would never get to go to the sleepover. My foot swelled up so much, that by the time I got to my friend's house, I couldn't get my boot off. Her mom, of course, called my mom when I didn't know, but I assured them I was ok. Couldn't walk, but sure I was fine LOL. It was Monday before the X-ray tech was available to do the X-Ray and sure enough it was broken.

My point, is that, you can't always protect your kids. They will get bumps and bruises and broken bones. It just gives them stories to tell when they're older. There is no point in feeling guilty about you son's broken leg, even if you had taken him in that night it still would have been broken.

It happens to all of us... I have many stories to tell, that it would take all day... and I'm a nurse, lol... but the bottom line is...

Yes, I feel like a failure as a parent sometimes and even worse because I'm a nurse and "Should know better".

I think it's just human nature because our kids do over-exaggerate things that it's sometimes like "The little boy who cried wolf" too many times. When the real wolf shows up, no one believed him. My youngest son, who is almost 12, is a real drama queen when it comes to getting attention... it never fails at bedtime, there is ALWAYS some ailment to keep him up... headachy, stomachache, stuffy nose, etc... that wasn't there a few minutes ago prior to bedtime... So sometimes its hard to know what is real and what isn't.

Don't beat yourself up...you aren't a crappy mom, you are only human, like the rest of us.

Terri/Seek

Hello from the "bad mommy" that started all of this. lol Just kidding. While I'm not glad that all of thses situations happened, either to you or your children, I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one! These past few days with my youngest and her ailment have been racked with feelings of guilt and inadequacy on my part. :dontknow: My not sorry that I put myself "out there" in sharing my dilemma. Many thanks to you ladies for sharing your experiences with me. :)

wet pants saffy ??????????????????????????

I fell on a brick when I was 4 years old, my older brother had been trying to get my mother to pay attention and she fobbed him off with "wait a minute" as she was finishing off a knitting she was doing for someone. It wasn't until a neighbour carried me into the house unconscious and with blood all over my face and clothes that she realised how serious it was. LMAO.

She always told my younger brother to walk back home from his friends the long way round to avoid the bully in the corner who kept picking on him. She didn't want to deal with his mother who worshipped the ground her son the bully walked upon. One day, he came home leaning on his friend, pale, shaken, feeling sick. Turns out he had been running in his friends house and his arm got caught in a door handle and bended it, you could see the dip in his bone when he held it up!!

i fell off a swing lol and everytime i stood up the bloody thing would hit me either on the front off the head and then the back i ended up with stiches lol
when my mum used to tell me about it i used to laugh my bollox off lol can you imagine poor little 2yr old me not knowing that everytime i stood up wack theres that bloody swing again

That's what brain damage does to you, I'm sorry to see you've never improved after that incident....

When I was about 7 or 8, I climbed a tree in the front of our house. My dad was "watching" us, my sister, me and little brother. I climbed as high as I could go, then proceeded to climb down. Just when I was about to grab the last branch, I slipped and fell straight down about 4.5 ft. Knocked the wind out of me. Passed out at some point. All Dad said was "Get up. You're alright." When he told my mother, she as angry to say the least. lol He was probably as shaken up as she was. But didn't show it as much.

aww poor dad!

We went out on a field trip with our school, I must have been around 7 or 8, I told a friend to push me into the river as I thought it would be funny to get wet. She did push me and I fell in.

I got out with a smirk on my face, all my friends laughing faces quickly turned into that of horror, the teachers just stood there holding icecreams for all of us looking at my legs.

I looked down and there was a split on my knee, blood was gushing out. I didn't feel well all of a sudden, didn't think it was funny anymore. They took me straight home on a minibus, with me sitting at the front and my legs straight on the dashboard.

Father took me to the hospital, had it taped shut. and Support bandages put over it and told to keep my knee straight not to bend it as it would split open again, no wonder it wouldn't stop bleeding.

If that happened now, if my parents are the kind of parents you see now, the school would no doubt have been sued to the hilt and the teachers sacked! Even though it was my fault!!

i think we have all had moments like this i thought my son had collic cause he was crying and holding hi knees up after 3 days took him to hospital and he had a ery serious stomach infection how bad of a mum did i feel. hated myself for weeks afterwads he was only 4 week at the time so i felt dreadful

Being a parent doesnt come with an instuction book you just learn by your mistakes and boy can we all make mistakes. I remember buying my son some new shoes for school he said they fitted him in the shop he was about 6 at the time. So he puts them on goes to school in them. That afternoon the school phoned me to come and collect him I said why???? Turns out the shoes where a "bit small" and he had a huge blister on his heel and I mean HUGE lol . I did tell the school to only ever phone me if you see blood or bone showing lol. But you learn by your mistakes then you become a nana and wow its totally different lol.My daughter said to me once Mam can I tell you something??? I thought ohh bugger what now lol. She said you make a better nanna than you did a mother !! Still to this day Im not sure if that was a compliment or an insult lol. Dont worry at the end of the day its all about growing up kids will fall and bang their heads or cut their knees its all part of growing up.

AA


Oh just remember something else with my son ! It was one summers day and the kids were all playing out in the street so me and Bill went for a drink at the local had a bowling green we asked the kids to come with us but they said NOOOO they wanted to stay in the street playing with the rest of the kids, so we said ok we will be at the pub they knew which one wasnt far. Anyway we trots off and gets a drink the very first drink!. Sat down to watch the bowling and all of a sudden one of the neighbours comes flying in looking for us turns out my son had decided to climb on the back of our van and as he did he cut his knee blood was pouring out of it. To this day hes still got the scar looks like a smile on his knee. He still laughs at the day his mam and dad left him all alone in the street while they went drinking !!

Oh the joys of motherhood lol

AA

I definitely make a better grandparent than I did a parent. But thats because I have more time, more patience and the little darlings go home before bedtime. Its great.

And the rule applies "If mum says no ask gran". Mostly it works. lol